To my anxiety disorder:
Today is the day of an important anniversary. Today, it’s been an entire year since I last had a panic attack.
To be honest, I didn’t know if this day would ever come. When I was first diagnosed, you seemed so big and unruly. You towered over me, and you didn’t give me a moment of peace. Like a terrifying shadow, you were always there, ready to capture me at a moment’s notice. You turned my world upside down, and I had no idea how you were going to impact my life. You made me so scared, so quiet, and so shy. I feared that you were going to control me for the rest of my life.
Boy was I wrong!
As I got treatment and found my support system, your grip on me loosened, and you began to shrink. I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and my hope for the future grew.
You tried to stop me from getting my driver’s license, but I got it.
You tried to stop me from graduating high school, but I graduated near the top of my class.
You tried to stop my from going to college, but I got my Associate of Arts, and I’m almost finished with my Bachelor’s degree.
You tried to stop me from making new friends when I transferred to a university, but I did.
You tried to stop me from getting involved in my school’s Catholic group, but I did.
You tried to stop me from practicing my Spanish with my new friends, but I’ve done it time and time again.
You tried to stop me from starting this blog, but I did it.
You tried to stop me from living my life, but I’m living it every day.
On the day of my first panic attack, you took my power away from me. Today, though, things are different. Today, I take my power back, and you will NEVER get it back. You will not control my life any more. We’re going to do things on my terms, not yours. You will not stop me from living my life. You will not make me scared, quiet, or shy any more.
You will not stop me from living my life. You will not stop me from being me.